I remember it like yesterday…

I was living with my best friend and her mom. In fact, that morning, I was sleeping on the floor when I my best friend woke me up. She had been on a phone call and was in a state of shock. She handed me the phone and the person on the other line said something along the lines of “Mason is dead”. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I just handed back the phone.

Even to this day, ten years later, I am in shock and awe.

Brian (also known as Mason) and I had a different type of relationship… a friendship that could have been more, I guess is one way to put it. It is just something that I cannot put into words as I would not know what words to use, but I know that our relationship was something different and something special.

We never technically dated although we did go on one date. We had an awkward friendship/relationship when we were in high school and when he went away to college we kept in touch via email constantly.

He was a very special person to me and I have always held a special place in my heart for him.

On June 6, 2002, Brian was flying a banner plane over a graduation ceremony for a graduate who passed away in a car accident. Unfortunately, Brian never returned after flying that banner.

There is rarely a day that goes by that I do not think of him. I have an “In Memory” tattoo dedicated to him. I have had a medium/clairvoyant mention his presence with me. I have had interesting things occur. In fact, one of these “interesting things” occurred tonight which prompted me to write this post.

I was watching a television episode online for a focus group I was doing. At the end of the video, Mark Wills sang “Don’t Laugh at Me”. Brian was a cowboy. He loved country music. This particular song was one of his favorites. Hearing that song made me think of Brian and noticing the date, I realized it was close to the date of his death. After a quick check, my suspicion was confirmed.

Tomorrow, June 6th, marks the 10 year anniversary of his death.

If you know me, you know that I do not hold regrets. I would not be who I am today if I had regrets. But, I do hold one regret. I regret seeing Brian one last time at a country bar we went to and not talking to him (I told you, our relationship was weird! We were both too stubborn and it resulted in a really awkward relationship!) I pray that I could have that day back. That I could have any time left with him to tell him how I feel. To tell him that I love him. To tell him what he meant to me. To hug him one last time.

I miss him every day and I will forever hold a special place in my heart for him. Rest in peace Brian. I love you!